To start 2013, Brian is being interviewed by his favorite magazine, Ladies Home Journal. He talks about gloves, his family, him breastfeeding his doll (yes, you read that right!) and men's biological clock.
And just when you think Andrew Rannells and Justin Bartha's looks are too much to take, in comes (drumroll please...) Matt Bomer! Pausing to let you ladies squee for joy. He and his abs guest star as Brian's ex-boyfriend, Monty. He tells Ladies Home Journal about his ex thinking less about children and more about getting drunk, and his plans on having more children in the future. That night, he talks to David about the interview and discuss their future children, spacing, etc. Turns out, unlike Brian's ex who wants zero kids, David also wants to have three.
Meanwhile, Nana Jane and Rocky (gurrrlfriends!) are reviewing for Jane's real estate license exams for California. Goggles (Shania) comes in to Jane's surprise. Shania says her mom dropped her off so she could pick up some fabric at Chinatown. Rocky notices that Shania seems sad and she opens up about some mean girls at school. She confides to Rocky and her Nana Jane about some bullies who posted a headless photo of a girl taking a dump at school declaring it to be Shania. Totally not true by the way. She says she only drops a deuce at home. But yea, them mean girls are making sure Goggles won't have any friends at school anymore.
Furious over what she heard, Rocky says she "better shut those bitches down NOW or your self esteem is shot for life". Nana Jane agrees and tells her that she needs a plan for total and complete dominance over those kids. Rocky adds that Shania better learn how to do that until she grows up so she won't be bullied and be as strong and independent as she and Jane are.
Back to David and Brian, they discuss their options about their future with Gary Snyder at the surrogacy office. Sine baby #1 is David's sperm, they are planning #2 using Brian's, while baby #3 as a mix of both dads' genetic matter. Suddenly, Gary cries and says he's gonna die alone. David suggests to Brian that they set up Monty with Gary. They have learned that he wants to have a child soon and well, with Gary's biological clock ticking down, he thinks Monty and Gary should have the kid they both have been dreaming of--together. Desperate, Gary agrees, saying, "as long as he's got a pulse, I'm in."
Nana's plan for Shania didn't work. Shania coming to school in a suit made it more difficult for her as the girls bullied her even more. Rocky steps in with her own plan: reading. She teaches Shania how to talk those girls down like how the drags taught Nana and Rocky in WeHo. Reading.
That night, Brian and David double date with Monty and Gary. While having dinner, Goldie comes in and Monty suddenly asks if he could touch her pregnant belly. The whole set-up-Gary-with-Monty-dinner was a bust when Monty decides to leave with Goldie. Yes, he was THAT fascinated with her that he blew the rest of their dinner to come with her. Poor Gary.
Monty comes back and declares his plans for the future. He tells everyone that he wants to pull a Sandra Bullock and raise a kid on his own. Aaaand he asked to have Goldie as his surrogate when she gives birth to David and Brian's. Uh-oh. So much for baby number 2 and 3!
Later on, Brian and David were angry because Monty's trying to steal Goldie from them. David thinks they should warn Monty to back off. So they pay Monty a visit--and a yelling, to tell him to leave Goldie alone.
At school, Shania gets her drag on and starts talking down to her bullies. Oh man, is she good! Who's the new queen bee now!
David and Brian talks to Goldie about their plans and learns that she turned down Monty's request to be his surrogate. The couple were relieved and asks her if she could be their baby #2 and 3's surrogate. Goldie stops them as she informs them of her dreams and her plan to open up a shop and make a children's clothing line. She says that as much as she wants to get knocked up with the couple's second child, she cannot commit just yet as she wants to stick to her plan. The couple agrees.
Now queen bee speaks to her new minions and declares that from then on, there should be no more queen bees. That they should stop pointing at peoples' flaws and rather see them as just mere people. Then she makes the mean girls her new girlfriends.
Brian and David comes over to Monty's to apologize. They were shocked upon seeing Gary welcoming them and finds out that the two are finally together. They were surprised to see how fast the two quickly got together and learns that they are currently testing the waters of parenthood by taking care of Gary's niece. The two thank David and Brian for showing them what it is to have a loving family and how they became good models for them.
Shania sees her mom's creations and was amazed by Goldie's awesome girl apparel. Goldie tells Shania that she is her awesome girl inspiration after seeing her with the mean girls, how she inspired them to be better people.
Later that day, Goldie launches her store at the farmers' market and is an instant hit.
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