It's Jay's birthday and he requests his family to make it a quiet one this year--with NO surprises. Manny won't stop hitting Jay with his "old man" jokes and Gloria is planning to surprise Jay on his birthday by telling him that she is pregnant with his spawn. Phil kidnaps Jay for his birthday, with the help of pals Shorty (Chazz Palminteri) and Miles (Ernie Hudson).
With Jay still tied and his head on a bag, Shorty, Phil and Miles takes him fishing, but before getting into the boat, he fell into the water. Jay finally dry, the guys talk about the perks of being 65, making him think of what's gonna happen to his life now that he's at that age. Phil makes a toast to his birthday and then drives the boat so they can go fishing. Jay falls from the boat and comes home all wet.
Mitch and Cam are upset about the baby--or lack thereof. Unfortunately, they haven't told Lily just yet. Upon breaking it to Lily, she then asks for a kitten instead saying that if she can't have a brother she'll name Larry, she'd rather get a kitten then--that she'd name Larry. Cam goes along with Lily's wish to have a kitten to ease their disappointment of not having a baby. So Mitch, Cam, and Lily comes to adopt a cat. They find out that adopting a cat is not as easy as they thought it would be.
Claire talks to daughters Haley and Alex about their prom and she was shocked to find out that Dylan, Haley's boyfriend, is sleeping on their couch. Apparently, he spent the night in their home after prom. Haley convinces his mom to let Dylan move in with them for a couple of weeks and of course, Claire disapproves. Dylan talks to Claire that it's okay, but makes her feel guilty about it by telling her a graphic description of where he'll be staying.
Manny becomes obsessed with becoming a comic, after watching tons of Dean Martin roasts online. Gloria tells Manny that he'll be having a baby brother soon, to which he didn't took nicely. He thinks that Gloria will not be able to raise it well. He asks his mom about Jay and finds out that she hasn't said a word to him about it yet. Manny and Gloria are afraid he might not be too thrilled about it, thinking he doesn't deal well with change. Manny assures Gloria that he'll soon adapt to it.
While preparing for the party, Luke and Manny are talking about him becoming a big brother. Luke tells him that soon enough, Manny will not be the kid in the house anymore. Manny changes his mind on coming to poetry camp this coming summer, afraid that he'll come back to an unaffectionate Jay because he'll soon realize that he'll be having his own kid by Gloria. It's scares Manny to know that Jay might think of him being insignificant because he's not really Jay's biological son. Gloria thinks otherwise.
Gloria also tells Claire about her pregnancy and says that she hasn't told Jay yet. Claire kinda tricks Gloria into thinking that her dad's gonna be thrilled, though she knows he won't be. Claire plans on telling her father before Gloria does, so he won't say something stupid and insensitive. Not telling him directly about Gloria's condition, Claire tells him that someone will be telling him a very important news and that he should react nicely because of that someone being in a vulnerable state at the moment.
Cam and Mitch comes in and he thought it was them who's breaking the news (get it? no baby = vulnerable state) so he reacts unusually nice about it and gives his full support. Jay tells that hopefully, the little booger that is Stella (the dog) won't get jealous when it comes. Manny thinks it was him that Jay called little booger and reacts badly. Jay, confused, asks what's going on. So Gloria finally admits to her pregnancy. Jay was shocked and Gloria, thinking that Jay might not like it, tells him that if he doesn't want the baby, she'll raise it on her own just like what she did with Manny. Jay instead, tells her that it's actually the best news that he's ever got, having something now to look forward to at 65 because he thought that his life might be over, now that he's THAT old.
Fast forward, Gloria's tummy is already big. Phil grows a beard, taking Shorty's advice. Mitch, Cam and Lily, went to London to ease the sadness of not having a baby. Although, they still went through the cat adoption and named the cat Larry.
We also find out that Claire and Phil did let Dylan live with them. Claire is planning to kick him out of the house soon. She also tells Phil to lose the beard. Manny still went through poetry camp. The episode ends with Claire letting Dylan out the door.
Quotes:
Gloria: Manny, I can take care of a baby. I took care of you!
Manny: Puh-lease, I was an anomaly. I self-potty trained.
Cam: You know we have been through a lot and maybe the presence of a cuddly little friend will help us ease the pain.
Mitch: Okay, so what you're saying is you have a child-shaped hole in your heart and your plan is to cram a cat into there.
Gloria: I'm pregnant.
Claire: (gasps) You're gonna get fat!
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